Living

There is much being said out there in this vast world about the meaning of simple ideas and principles of life.  Although I’m no expert, here at the barn, we find it refreshing to go back to good old Mr. Webster and find out what the actual definitions of common words and ideas are.  If “the truth will make you free,” then taking someone else’s word alone will leave you enslaved in ignorance.  In my short life experience, I’ve found that the things I am most ignorant about are those that can most easily persuade me to conform to wrong ideas.  That is why most of my thoughts here will begin with a definition: to remind us of what the original meaning was.

Living:

1. Possessing life

2. Full of life, interest, or vitality

3. True to life; realistic

What is living?  I have stood in places of grandeur and heard others utter the famous words, “This is living!”  Usually, they are lounging in a sun chair and drinking something with an umbrella in it.  Rarely do we claim that our everyday lives are real “living,” in fact, it’s usually when we are relaxing and doing nothing that we exclaim, “This is living!”  Why is that?  It’s true that having moments of true peace of mind is essential to our lives and our sanity, but is that really living?

I love the definition above.  Of course, all of us reading this are possessing life; otherwise we wouldn’t be reading this. Numbers 2 and 3 of the definition, however, have really made me stop and think. Let’s look at number 2: what does it mean to be full of life, interest, or vitality? Initially, one may think that it means living to the extreme: skydiving, bungee

jumping, or river rafting.  However, most of us live a full life everyday: jobs, appointments, play dates, errands, etc. Life is full, but why don’t we count it as “living”?  Perhaps it’s the “vitality” part of the definition. Vitality means “physical or intellectual vigor; energy.” I am pretty certain it takes vigor to get all the things in our daily list done, so that raises an interesting question: when we are sitting, doing and thinking nothing, are we full of life, are we living?  Again, let me assure you that I believe that taking moments of peace in our lives is ESSENTIAL, but isn’t that just a vacation?

This brings me to number 3, “true to life or realistic.”  Is it true to life to slurp down soda after soda while someone brings them to you on a tray?  Is that realistic?  It’s not my reality.  My reality is cleaning up after the 2-year-old hurricane that passes continually from room to room, feeding my hungry, 6-month butter ball all the time, and doing laundry that never seems to end.  It’s no vacation, and can sometimes even seems undesirable. Sometimes, as a mom, I look at my single friends, free to go and do as the please, and I have the temptation to compare their “living” to mine.  But I wonder if that is the best thing.  My reality is not their reality, and it’s always dangerous to romanticize someone else’s reality because everyone has their ups and downs.  Though your view may catch someone on an up while you are in a down, someone else will inevitably catch you on an up while they are in a down.  That is reality; that is living.  

I also think that sometimes we may have the tendency to think that our realities will be better when they are different.  It will be better when I have more money, when I have more time, when I get that dream I have always wanted, but because we have trained ourselves to be unsatisfied with the present, can we ever truly recognize and appreciate our reality when we get to the destination, or the thing we have been waiting for?  I have a good friend who, after years of hard work, got cast in show on Broadway in New York, and on his opening night, was surprised that it didn’t feel they way he imagined it would.  Don’t get me wrong, he recognized his accomplishment, felt good to have reached his goal, and he had a wonderful time doing what he loves, but I wonder if one of the reasons he may have felt the way he did, is the fact that we train ourselves to live in the future.  The sad thing is, is that we can never live in the future because our reality is now.

Thinking on these ideas, I have come to some conclusions.  Living is not a destination, it is not a thing you obtain, or an age you reach.  Living is the state of mind in which you view your life, and therefore, directly affects how full you live your life.  If I am living wishing I could be like my single friends doing what they are doing, I run into the danger of missing the life I am supposed to be living.  If someone is constantly thinking of how much better their life could be if they would have only gone another direction, they will miss opportunities to make their here and now better.   Though its true that I clean up after my 2-year-old, I can choose to LOVE it and realize that the reality is that he is never going to be 2 again.  If I keep wishing he was older, I will miss his now. Yes, I clean but I also get to teach him how to clean, and how to feel the joy of a small accomplishment.  Now that is living.  Though I feed my little butterball all the time, I can choose to LOVE it and realize that pretty soon she will feed herself and not need me, but right now she does need me and I get to see her smile at me as we share that time.  That is living.  And yes, even the laundry that never seems to end can be somewhat enjoyable. (Notice I said somewhat.)  As I look at the tiny clothes with all the tiny stains from playing baseball outside and eating a Popsicle in the grass, 

I can think about my children and how they “LIVE” in every moment.  I can think about how full of life, interest, and vitality they are, and I can realize how they have given all of those things back to me.  They have taught me how to live again.  Don’t misunderstand me when I say these things, and think my life is all easy and perfect.  It is hard at times and SOOOOO challenging, but that is life- that is living.

I think there are many out there that, like me, that let the days of life go by waiting for the next time they get to “live”.  Perhaps we are walking through our lives, without “living” them.  As I have thought about this, I have made a goal to make an effort to truly live my life to fullest, to look at my reality with a new pair of glasses.  It’s not that I am going to take the burdensome work out of my day; I just am going to approach it with a different attitude.  I am going to find a moment each day to say, “This is living.”   

So tell me, what “real living” have YOU done today?